I lived in an all black neighborhood until I was like 7 before moving to a place that was mostly white. This was a key moment in my life and I realized quickly how easy it was to throw me into a certain type of box based on things I had no control over as a child, like where I lived. I'm glad there's more space now to be any type of Black girl I want to be. However, people love to say Black women aren't a monolith, while also being mad that we choose to be different and our own unique selves
Same! I went to predominantly white schools but a black church. I didn’t fit in at either place. For all of social media’s faults, it has opened up a whole new world of letting black girls just be.
I love watching other women speak up in the comment section acknowledging how they experienced the same thing. Thank you for creating a safe space Mia. I’m a well rounded black woman. My daughter speaks very proper. She attended a military based school when she was younger. People use to tell her she spoke white often. I started correcting them in front of her in hopes she finds the courage to do the same. Thank you for this beautifully written piece reminding us that we don’t have to live in a box. Our versatile nature should be expressed out loud 🧡
Not me tearing up from your comment 🥹 You're such a great momma for correct them in front of her so she is aware! Kids learn by action in my experience. 💓
This is so inspiring! I'm writing something similar called "Being a Black Women in a Society That Already Decided What My Identity Is". I relate very much with this but more in a way that people always questioned my choices a black woman as if they expected me to be someone else.
Being a suburban black girl is HARD honey. Being a suburban Afro-Latina is even HARDER. Neither minority accepts you for their own twisted reason and you hear about white people and their schtick. I had mostly white friends until high school, but even now I feel like I get othered because of the way I talk, dress, or any minute thing they can pick out. I remember being called spoiled because I had a fur coat (even though buying furs for birthdays has always been a tradition in my family), being called whitewashed for knowing social and dining etiquette (my mother enrolled me in etiquette classes when I was in elementary school), and even for my vernacular all because I said the word “rolodex”. Now I’m about to be 20 and just now came to the conclusion that I don’t have to be any more of anything but a child of God in order to be loved and accepted.
HARD OKAY. I completely can see how being Afro-Latina is even harder. I was definitely called spoiled because my mother took me on vacations every year. Now I'm 32, addicted to travel, and thankful for it all. I'm so happy you are now able to block out the haters and thrive! Literally only God can judge.
I'm happy to read this. I'm a 40 year old black woman and mom to 3 girls. I wrote about this recently on medium.
I got similar statements throughout my childhood depending on where I lived. I wrote about this because Candace Owen's was tested in her blackness. I think regardless of whether you like or hate anyone, there is no way or reason to test someone's blackness.
Hate them for what they say or do, but not uf they're "black enough". I'm glad us black women are taking a stand and being ourselves no matter what that looks like!
I grew up in a white suburban neighborhood, and like you I knew I was black, I loved my race, but I was questioned about it constantly. My white friends would ask me crazy questions about if I was going to marry a white or black guy, or if my family was like the Madea movies. Then when I was around black kids and told them my school they would immediately scoff and tell I was rich. There was no way to win. It took me a while but at some point in college I realized that I was just me, and that was good enough. My kids will be taught to do the same. Being black shouldn’t be placed in a scale
Similar story for me - around college, I was like I'm me and that's it. You're a great mother for thinking ahead regarding these potential situations 💓
2. That's a new one - I swear these idiots come up with new things everyday.
3. Never stop being you because of the negativity of others. They want to hurt you, they want you to feel a way. You're black and perfect in whatever form and way you present. Being black doesn't fall under one category of being.
another good piece, friend!
I lived in an all black neighborhood until I was like 7 before moving to a place that was mostly white. This was a key moment in my life and I realized quickly how easy it was to throw me into a certain type of box based on things I had no control over as a child, like where I lived. I'm glad there's more space now to be any type of Black girl I want to be. However, people love to say Black women aren't a monolith, while also being mad that we choose to be different and our own unique selves
We gotta make space for each other and all the versions that come with else regardless of the expectations of others!
Same! I went to predominantly white schools but a black church. I didn’t fit in at either place. For all of social media’s faults, it has opened up a whole new world of letting black girls just be.
Same here! It was confusing at times but happy that more space is being opened for our girls.
“Choose your hair, choose your niche, choose your weapon.” Oof
As a suburban black girl often called an Oreo this post was everything. Never stop writing please!
That was the sweetest comment! Thank you for reading 🥹
as one of the Black girls who always felt like I got into too many boxes and not enough, this article was so refreshing.
I'm so happy this article could bring you a little bit of joy!
I love watching other women speak up in the comment section acknowledging how they experienced the same thing. Thank you for creating a safe space Mia. I’m a well rounded black woman. My daughter speaks very proper. She attended a military based school when she was younger. People use to tell her she spoke white often. I started correcting them in front of her in hopes she finds the courage to do the same. Thank you for this beautifully written piece reminding us that we don’t have to live in a box. Our versatile nature should be expressed out loud 🧡
Not me tearing up from your comment 🥹 You're such a great momma for correct them in front of her so she is aware! Kids learn by action in my experience. 💓
This is so inspiring! I'm writing something similar called "Being a Black Women in a Society That Already Decided What My Identity Is". I relate very much with this but more in a way that people always questioned my choices a black woman as if they expected me to be someone else.
I'm glad my piece could offer something and I cannot wait to read yours! ❤️
Being a suburban black girl is HARD honey. Being a suburban Afro-Latina is even HARDER. Neither minority accepts you for their own twisted reason and you hear about white people and their schtick. I had mostly white friends until high school, but even now I feel like I get othered because of the way I talk, dress, or any minute thing they can pick out. I remember being called spoiled because I had a fur coat (even though buying furs for birthdays has always been a tradition in my family), being called whitewashed for knowing social and dining etiquette (my mother enrolled me in etiquette classes when I was in elementary school), and even for my vernacular all because I said the word “rolodex”. Now I’m about to be 20 and just now came to the conclusion that I don’t have to be any more of anything but a child of God in order to be loved and accepted.
HARD OKAY. I completely can see how being Afro-Latina is even harder. I was definitely called spoiled because my mother took me on vacations every year. Now I'm 32, addicted to travel, and thankful for it all. I'm so happy you are now able to block out the haters and thrive! Literally only God can judge.
I'm happy to read this. I'm a 40 year old black woman and mom to 3 girls. I wrote about this recently on medium.
I got similar statements throughout my childhood depending on where I lived. I wrote about this because Candace Owen's was tested in her blackness. I think regardless of whether you like or hate anyone, there is no way or reason to test someone's blackness.
Hate them for what they say or do, but not uf they're "black enough". I'm glad us black women are taking a stand and being ourselves no matter what that looks like!
We deserve freedom from societal expectations. 💓
I grew up in a white suburban neighborhood, and like you I knew I was black, I loved my race, but I was questioned about it constantly. My white friends would ask me crazy questions about if I was going to marry a white or black guy, or if my family was like the Madea movies. Then when I was around black kids and told them my school they would immediately scoff and tell I was rich. There was no way to win. It took me a while but at some point in college I realized that I was just me, and that was good enough. My kids will be taught to do the same. Being black shouldn’t be placed in a scale
Similar story for me - around college, I was like I'm me and that's it. You're a great mother for thinking ahead regarding these potential situations 💓
Literally one of the biggest reasons that I decided to attend an HBCU, I still have the quirks I grew up with but I am not unapologetically black !
LOVE
Heavy on we can listen to rap and trade anime cards. !! Black women should be free to be whoever they want to be!
1. Fuck them.
2. That's a new one - I swear these idiots come up with new things everyday.
3. Never stop being you because of the negativity of others. They want to hurt you, they want you to feel a way. You're black and perfect in whatever form and way you present. Being black doesn't fall under one category of being.