recognizing patterns.

starting the year off introspective.

I’ve been quiet this morning on Substack because truly, I haven’t had shit to say.

I said I was starting this month off slowly so that’s what I did.

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Instead of writing online, I’ve been writing in my journal.

Instead of rushing out of bed to start my day, I’ve given myself permission to have lazier yet productive mornings in bed.

Instead of making consistent plans, I have been staying home and nesting more.

Instead of being focused on accomplishing Q1 goals, I’ve been intentionally planning what the rest of the year looks like and how I can schedule it in a way that doesn’t have my head spinning.

And I’ve seen the positives in my intentionality - I’m not as stressed or overwhelmed as I usually am at this time of the year.

But through this process, I’ve been recognizing more of my personal patterns.

It’s so important to quiet the outside world so you can really listen to what’s going on internally - easier said than done - but it makes all of the difference in the long run.

In specific situations, instead of rushing through them, I took the time to realize how certain things, people, and places made me feel or how I would react or what I wanted from certain relationships or how I could communicate to improve to better situations.

My patterns tell the story of my path.

I don’t like dealing with inconsistent people because I experienced inconsistency growing up.

I don’t like loud spaces because I’m an only child and most of my life has been lived in quiet spaces.

I don’t like people who are consistently late or bullshits with your time because I think that says more about your character and lack of respect for my time.

I like waking up early because it gives me time to myself in the morning before my day starts and it soothes my anxiety

I like doing things alone because I hate waiting on people.

I like to drink wine and prosecco because I do not like how I feel on hard liquors.

All of these habits and patterns come from past experiences.

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So what did I decide to do once I really recognized these patterns?

I mentally listed them into two categories of healing or harmful.

The patterns like waking up early or doing things alone went into the healing category because they help me recharge or clarify my life.

The patterns like dealing with inconsistent people or being in loud spaces went into the harmful category because of the negative feelings I felt around these scenarios.

And I would have never been able to realize this if I hadn’t quieted my world down.

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Yes, there is a lot of things going on in this world at the moment so focusing on your patterns or emotional wellbeing can sound trivial but it’s actually the opposite - being aware and mentally sound is the only way we are going to be able to get through the tough times.

There are powers above us that want us to be confused, discombobulated, and in the dark because that makes us easy to manipulate and control.

This is the time to go inward to protect your sanity to make the best decisions for your future.

Take care of your mind, yourself, and your community.

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As a reminder, biglittlemia is not a safe space for the ignorant.